Graffiti Decorationsunder a sky of grey.
Iamcursed
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Visit Iamcursed's Xanga Site!

Name: Jarryd
Gender: Male


Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research


Message: message me
AIM: StellarEcho1014


Member Since: 2/16/2005

SubscriptionsSites I Read
niklausjoey
tigerfuzz42
mattduke25
ReverendLovejoy
CUJerseyBoy

Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Currently Listening
A Crow Left of the Murder
By Incubus
Southern Girl
see related

Right Brain:  How can someone say they were in love.  Love doesn't fade, love doesn't grow cold, and for God's sake love doesn't disappear once you get in a fight with someone.  Love perseveres through those situations and remain strong through time.  People turn their emotions into love far too easily in modern times.  A 15 year old girl will walk up to her boyfriend of 10 days and say she loves him, a college student who meets an interesting woman downtown will call her and tells her he fell in love with her, a middle-aged woman will tell her husband who she's been cheating on that she still loves him and none of these situations show the true emotion of love.  If you say you love your boyfriend after 10 days of dating in high school chances are you're confused and it's easier to tell him you love him than it is to tell him how much you care about him.  A college student would much rather tell the girl he fell in love with her because he has trouble telling her just how much of an impression she left on him after just one night and feels that maybe if he uses the word love she'll give him a chance.  The wife would much rather tell her husband that she still loves him rather than have to explain that they were young and foolish when they got married and now she is seriously questioning her commitment to him because that would push him over the edge.  Maybe what needs to happen in this crazy world we live in, is that people need to stop fucking throwing the word "love" around like Skittles to a kid with A.D.H.D.  Maybe, just maybe people could step up to the plate, formulate a statement using some verbal diction, and tell others just how they feel.  Then, just maybe, people would stop complaining about how they fell in love and lost it, how the person they love doesn't know how they truly feel about them, and how love is some powerful indescribable thing that no one can explain but they somehow feel it.  I only know of one true love we can use as a perfect example and that comes from the Good Book and the Father, God Almighty.

Left Brain:  World Peace.  What a funny subject.  I'm a firm believer that peace activists are some of the most insane people on the globe, behind black Jewish lesbian ninjas and Yankees Fans(that's another topic).  Joseph Conrad was quoted as saying something along the lines of "wherever two men are, there will always be a conflict."  Since I believe Conrad was much more educated than over 99.9% of the population that breathes air today, I' ld like to think about that for a second.  Wherever two men are, there is bound to be a conflict...  Ok, well lets break this down.  No two men are the same.  If no two men are the same, then they could not possibly agree on every subject.  If they don't agree on every subject, that causes a disagreement which is otherwise known as a conflict.  Ok, now that we have that cleared up, wherever there is conflict there is not peace.  So world peace would have to mean no conflict, which would in turn mean everyone would have to agree on every single detail, which would mean two men could not coexist, which means all men would have to die except one, which in turn would either lead to the extinction of the human race or mental insanity from the solitude, which would lead to extinction of the human race.  So we have two outcomes if world peace is established, the first is human extinction and the second is human extinction.  What a great choice, how about we choose the latter instead of the former.  So with the extinction of the human race coming from world peace, that would mean over 6 billion people would need to die.  Now hang on a second, how many people did Hitler kill when he was trying to make a perfect world?  Wasn't it something in the ballpark of millions.  So really the peace activist are trying to incite something that would be up to about maybe 500 times worse than the holocaust.  Now that's a great thought.


Sunday, October 23, 2005

Currently Listening
A Crow Left of the Murder
By Incubus
Here In My Room
see related

Right Brain:  So the last 6 weeks of my life finally make sense.  If you see me on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, or Friday I'll be wearing my brand new Clemson Rangers shirt.  I figured I'ld take Wednesday off so I can wach the mofo.

Left Brain:  I saw someone at the Ranger party that I haven't seen in a long time and still felt the same about them.  I mean I didn't know them real well before, but always wanted to and then seeing them again was just a blast from the past.  Oh yeah and afterward I proceeded to do push-ups for them because at the time I was still a MEAT.


Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Currently Gaming
PS2 SOCOM 3 US NAVY SEALS
By Sony Computer Entertainment
see related

Right Brain:  Rangers testing it tonight/tomorrow/next week and its my last chance to pass the tests.  I really would enjoy passing them, but at the same time I also think I'ld get over failure and go through meat phase again next year.  But it does suck to know that out of 6 people 5 of them thought I was the worst meat still left and I didn't deserve to be inducted into Rangers.  That chaps my ass because I've worked so hard while others who will remain nameless have not put in any extra effort outside of meat PT.  But I guess since I am not the best at physical activity they just shrugged it off as me being slack ass instead of wanting to improve. 

 

Left Brain:  I have no confidence anymore.  I dont feel confident in anything I do wheter it be Rangers or school or anything like that.  I just can't complete anything anymore without feeling anxiety about it.  Which is weird considering I've never been nervous about much in my life.  Now its like a 180.


Saturday, September 17, 2005

Currently Reading
U.S. Army Ranger Handbook SH 21-76 (April 2000)
By Department of Defense
see related

Right Brain:  I have never had anything that challenges me as much as I have this week.  Trying out for Rangers is one of the best experiences of my life so far and I know it can only get better.  I have never used more bandages, drank more Gatorade, felt so sore, slept so well, or work out as hard as I have this week.  I can honestly look at the 9 people who are left now and look at the other 16,000 someodd people on campus and know that we are the most hardcore Clemson has to offer.  I've pushed myself harder than I thought imaginable and survived.  It's exactly the kind of thing I needed.  The thing is there is really nothing I've wanted as much as wanting to get this over with.  I want to be in the Rangers and walk around campus everyday and think "I'm more hardcore than you," when I see people who dropped out.  The only thing is Rangers takes up so much time I'm starting to lose touch with all the other things I like so much.  I haven't hung out with my roommates at all this week.  I missed pledge inductions for Alpha Phi Omega.  I haven't said a single word on AIM to my friends.  I just want for this phase to be over so bad so I can resume a normal life.

 

Left Brain:  I've seen the sun rise every morning this week.


Sunday, August 28, 2005

Currently Listening
The Other Side
By Godsmack
Running Blind(Acoustic)
see related
Right Brain: There was an experiment run on several dogs to try and figure out the effects of negative conditioning. The dogs were placed on one side of the cage and the food was placed on the other. When they tried to get to the food and crossed the median barrier, they received a shock. The shocks increased in magnitude until the dogs finally stopped jumping over the median line to get the food. The dogs just sat on their side of the cage, hungry as they could be, because they knew the negatives of what would happen out weighed the positives of what might happen. Why when humans are faced with a situation of the like do we grow to be stubborn? We keep jumping that line because we want something to happen. Our imagination twists reality until we believe that no negative will come. Then we hop the line and to our surprise we get a nice little shock. So we sit on our side without the food we wanted and think "man I’ll never do that again." However, the next day here we go jumping the line again because over the night our mind once again clouded our judgment and guess what? We get our ass shocked again. The cycle never ends until we can be content with what we have instead of having everything we want.

Left Brain: Psychology is the perfect cure to a tainted mind. Classes have become a way of escape from the life of wallowing in my own boredom everyday. I need some excitement in my life.



Next 5 >>

<bgsound src="http://people.clemson.edu/~JPLAYER/disappear.mp3">